Cyber bullying has become rampant, and at a certain point you need to stand up to it. I was asked to pay a ransom to remove my name in a blog publishing falsified news and fake content. I have approached #Google, #Bing #Wordpress for the last 20 years flagging the falsified content, and #cybercell division of police online but none took it seriously.
To summarize this is how it all began, I used to attend youth charismatic retreats and did so annually at Divine Retreat Center as a teen. I was asked if I can look into some technical issues regarding the primary Divine Retreat website managed by late Suraj Thomas. I volunteered to help and during the week I was there, we decided to move all Divine sites under single hosting provider for better management.
Divine’s gospel group Abey and Swapna had a site jesusandyou.com which was registered by a “friend” VP, cleverly in his name. When I requested him to hand over the site, he sent me a letter written in English filled with abusive Malayalam words (native language of the state where I stay). As we discovered, he was using the website to earn on affiliate ads and he didn’t want to lose this source of income as Abey and Swapna’s songs used to attract lots of traffic. He cut off everyone from the website and took full control, started selling Abey & Swapna’s albums and didn’t allow even prayer requests to be forwarded from the site. He didn’t stop with these…
I, being a volunteer and not a paid staff, returned home after a week.
After a week at the Divine center I returned home and thought this entire issue is over for me… But it was only the beginning of decades of INTERNET HARRASMENT! I started receiving abusive letters and sms from him almost every week. He started publishing ridiculous lies about me in each and every blog he could gain access to accusing me of being a hacker. Somehow, he came to know that I’m from an affluent family and started demanding $20,000 ransom as “settlement” from me to remove my name from his sites. I refused… At that point I though I could easily have it removed by complaining to Google, Bing or WP as it was just a bunch of made up nonsense, as long as we don’t have harsher punitive fines like those in the US this is bound to continue…
Several times I approached Google, Bing, Word Press and other platforms where he was publishing his posts, even Cyber Crimes division of police to remove the search content which painted everyone at Divine and myself in a bad light. No one paid attention… Almost 20 years passed. Content is still online. A few months back I once again approached a person who owns one of the blogs these posts were published on about 3 years ago. He replied “it will cost me money to have it removed”… As I did not reply the dates keep updating to current year to make it look like it is a recent event.
Did it affect me?
Yes, grievously many times… We live in a digital era when background verification starts and ends on the net. Having a LUNATIC work against you online can end your carrier in a blink of an eye! In India with our population, nobody cares to dig up the truth! On the other hand I had to upskill like crazy learn a zillion new systems, but I was like gold refined in a furnace, I became better at my work, with each job adding a new skillset, offering better salaries and position and having to stay on my toes at all times.
Now the question is should we give in to cyber bullying?
I would never pay a pervert one dime as it would be against my principles. If I give in and pay this will mean that whatever he wrote about me is true and I have to shell out my cash to cover up my “sins”…
We overcome it by just living our normal lives, and people who know us may not even give it a second thought. The key is to never give in, and never go offline, be very present in you posts and communities minding your business, be engaged in your daily online routines and add more visibility on what you do, at some point the bulley will feel hollow and ashamed of his actions. What does not kill you makes you stronger, and in the end belive it, Truth alone Triumphs.
Cyber bullying doesn’t end at Hight School… Digital environment has became a convenient space for all sorts of lunatics and thieves to thrive on our weaknesses… Under the veil of anonymity anybody can write anything they please about you, can manipulate your images and post them online to harass you, can use Internet to abuse, threaten and extort cash from you… And there’s nobody to stop them. Because platforms who provide them with this privilege are not concerned about “safety” of their digital space…
What if I paid my way out?
The person who started these conspiracy sites and even caused police raids on a catholic institution after two decades of false propaganda quit on his conspiracy sites after Gods hand, only to have this new guy, who copied the old site and is at the same game, maybe its the same person masqurading as someone else. Extortionist thrive on paying customers, and some psychopaths never quit, so once you do submit or pay, it will never end, its easy money and you are now an easy target!
What will others think?
This is the main reason for many teenagers commiting sucides today and thats why I think stating this is important. I can assure you, if its people who are close to you, they know you and not some rubbish written on some site, if they do, just give it time. My beautiful Russian wife, another Gods gift, came across all this before we married and she confronted me, and still chose me as life partner. She changed my life, my thinking and perspective of life, so as a whole my suggestion is pay no thought to it, bolt it out!
First stop how you think, don’t get paranoid, no one is talking behind your back or laughing at you. When you encounter these sort of issues at young age, you think everyone knows, and the truth is nobody cares! So live your life carefree, your life and what you accomplish is far more precious! Change your location if you must, and start afresh.
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Ruben Gerad Mathew's Blog 